something less disturbing than previous posts

On the shore with my hands full of sand, watching as friends gather round a log fire, the festivities are afoot, they begin they begin and they dont stop for days. I am still feeling alone among all of these people, detached from their ways not understanding the bond they have if I have anything to say they laugh and I sway and no one comes looking for me when I go off alone to be. Its all a mirage, its all pathetic its all what I dont want it to be, but it lingers and the loathing has consumed me, I cannot shake it, but i must shake it, I shake I freeze as the panic attack takes hold, I think I am going to die, but my eyes are closed, someone finally appears to pry, a shadow, a voice, some soothing words, my world has been declared by someone I have never met before, and a blanket of sand is my friend, I am alone but a stranger can be a friend.